Depth

I was blessed this morning to enjoy breakfast with a dear friend, with plenty of conversation as we were catching up on each others' lives. We talked about run of the mill "what's been going on" stuff, and other matters a little closer to the heart. This friend has been instrumental in the growth of my faith and the length of my marriage as well. However it seems that our lives tend to point us in directions away from each other. We discussed bible studies, and small groups, and sharing - the surface stuff and the deep stuff too. And it got me thinking, hence here I am at my computer with a million other things on my to do list and a little boy that desperately needs a nap (I can hear him softly snoring now on the couch).

We struggle with our relationships with others - do I smile as I walk past this person on the street (or even bother to look at them), do I wave to my neighbor, do I ask "how are you" in the hallway at church, do I share my prayer request with the other Teen MOPS leaders, do I dare get that personal? How much to I share? How deep do I go?

And we struggle with our relationship with God - do I pray just at meals, do I set aside 15 or 50 minutes daily to prayer, do I read His word and meditate on it, do I dare ask him to heal my broken heart, do I confess my sins and ask for forgiveness? How much do I say? How far do I go?

My girlfriend and I tend to only get together every other month these days, sadly. I love connecting with her, but all the other things in life just get in the way. Though we don't get to see each other much, we do tend to skip most of the surface stuff and skip right into "how have you really been, how's the marriage, how are you dealing with that" kind of stuff. We go deeper...but that's because we have that kind of relationship (10 years of trials). But still, I wish I could see her and connect more often. I wish we were closer. Like I said, she's a pretty important part of why I am where I am today.

So what about God? I have sunk into a very bad habit lately of praying at meals, a few times during the day to watch over a kid in my class, maybe while I am in the shower and thinking about something, or when one of my own children is frustrating me and I want God to fix him/her. But what about my bible time? When I'm looking something up, for a study or a Sunday School lesson. But not just to read what He has to say...and definitely no time meditating on His Word. Asking Him to heal my brokenness or confess my sins? Um...not so much.

I spoke with the AWANA kids last night, about prayer and the bible. Makes sense to talk about something I know I am struggling with too. And I told the kids that even us big people have a hard time doing what is right. We still need to talk to Him and read His Word, so that we can hide His Word in our heart and do what is right and good.

I'm challenging myself to go deeper this year, mainly with God. I want better than just what I used to have with Him...I want more! I want more than just to talk to Him and read His Word, but I want to HEAR Him in my life all the time. I feel like I haven't heard Him in quite a while...guess I need to spend more time LISTENING.

Blessings!

Where'd it all go?

Somehow, somewhere, I have misplaced August (and the later half of July for that matter). Just the other day, I was sitting in Arizona by the pool just before my grandmother's memorial service. It was beautiful...yes, the service, and yes, the pool, and yes, Arizona. We had a wonderful visit with family, a great tan (gotta love that Arizona sun in July), and a decent trip home. That was July 21st that we arrived home, people. And here we are on August 31st, about to close off another month of 2010...a year I am not sure exactly how we arrived at anyway. It seems like just the other day when we were trying to determine what the plan was for our Bertschinger family Christmas.

So...here I sit on this very last day of August, before we head into the start of another school season, and I am completely mystified on how exactly the time went so fast. We had a wonderful summer, don't get me wrong. We have lots of fun memories, and the credit card and photos to prove most of it. :)

We celebrated 10 years...10 years? Yep, 10 years of marriage this August. Beautiful anniversary. Lots of good, and not so good, memories over 10 years. Hard times, and really good times...and everything in between. Can't believe we made it this long, and can't believe it's really been 10 years. Where did the time go?

But why is time moving so fast? Kayla headed back home to Montana on August 8th (just the other day) and she already called last week to report on how her first day of school went. FOR REAL??? Already? Man...time went by fast.

Tonight, I head to my old junior high/my oldest child's middle school for the last time for a few years as Caitlyn gets "oriented" to her 8th grade year. Super freaky! 8th grade already. Where'd the time go?

Tomorrow Tyler (3rd grade) and Sheyann (2nd grade) will get to meet their teachers, and my little man Ethyn will meet his preschool teacher on Thursday. Unbelieveable!

They are growing up so fast, and as they grow the time just goes by faster for us. Soon there will be another driver, another teenager, another grade schooler in our house. Soon. But for now, I'm blessed to have a little more time with each of them. For it will not be too long before they are gone and the nest is completely empty, and it's just me and him...and the grandkids will come. :)

At the Gates

I've always wondered what exactly the site is you see moments after your eyelids close for the last time on this world and open on the 'everafter.' Do you see the people around your body as you passed, or bright light, clouds, maybe flames if you're headed the other direction? Do you 'wake up' and all the frailties of your old body are gone and you are a perfect age (maybe sometime before gravity set in and stuff got all saggy and wrinkly)? Do you face the gate of heaven with new eyes, so you don't mistake Jesus for Uncle John? And all those people standing around you to welcome you in, some you've never met, will you recognize them...will you know who they are in their new body? Do you stand before the ALMIGHTY immediately, or after you've hugged and rejoiced with Jesus?

My grandmother left the earthly world this morning, to be welcomed at the gates by her creator. I wonder if she stood in awe of Him, if she fell at His feet and praised Him, if the woman who loved to tell stories and visit with people had a single word to say. I wonder if she stood and gazed upon the face of her Abba, and cried...tears of joy, tears of thankfulness, tears of love, tears of praise. I wonder if He scooped His daughter into His arms and comforted her as only a Father can.

My grandmother, Donamae, knew the Lord. I grew up around her, unlike all of my cousins, but do not recall her ever verbalizing her faith until a trip just 2 1/2 months ago. Not knowing she would soon be dying of cancer, our conversation headed toward faith (helps that I am so involved in our church and work there too). She told me the different religions she had practiced, stuff I never knew. We didn't talk long, but she didn't want to really go deep. She told me she had her God, and that was enough for her. I was sad, because I didn't know what it meant or how to get more out of her. After returning home, and her hospitalization and cancer diagnosis, I was advised to write to her and share Christ. God gave me the words that opened a conversation for my mother to have with her. And we found out she was saved. While I didn't get to hear her testimony ever, my only regret with her sudden illness and death, I know where she is right now and where I will see her again...
at the Gates.

It's about time

It has only taken me over a year, from the time that I created this darn blog, to get the background and layout kind of set up the way I like it and write my very first post. So...now that I have been fiddling with it for hours, my battery is about to die, and my frustration level is high enough for me to toss the stupid computer out the window, I only have my most common catch phrase to say....


Oh, for Pete's sake!!!